While strolling down the lists one day,
and looking for a place to play…
I opened up my eyes,
and I’m exposed to something wise,
and I’m gonna run it here, I says…
To BOV, or not to BOV… that is the question…
But what the hell is a BOV?
Okay, a while back, I wrote you a post about turning that “70’s love box on wheels” into a “Bug Out Buggie…”
You remember… this thing!
After all, sometimes you have to think ahead, and try to foresee bad times coming, so that you’re prepared for them, in case they show up on your porch.
The economy is in shambles, jobs are almost non-existent, and the natives are getting nervous. I don’t know about you, but I might start thinking seriously about where I put those old highway maps, ‘cuz I might just need them soon…
But… and it’s a big but… kinda like mine… Oy, I gotta buy a treadmill…
Where was I? Oh yeah…
I started thinking about what you’d do if you really wanted to build the ultimate BOV (Bug Out Vehicle). After all, it’s getting stupid out there, and apparently there isn’t much in the way of limits.
People today are crazier than a “burlap bag fulla cats” (Oh just shut up! It’s just an expression… What are you anyway, PETA whackos?) and frankly, when it’s time to flee, I wanna have a jump on the rest of you whackjobs, and about an inch of armor plating between “me and mine” and “you and yours…”
Now, I have a few ideas up my sleeve, but I probably won’t discuss them openly, because I don’t want you to be envious, and go out looking for “my most excellent ride” after it gets ugly in your front yard. I’m WAYYYYYYYYY smarter than that…
Here’s what I will do, though…
Recently, while I was out committing “various misdemeanor acts of Internet mischief,” I came across a guy who just saw things so clearly, that I knew I needed to exploit him.
His name is Jerry D. Young…
No, he’s not that guy from Styx, you’re thinking of Dennis DeYoung. This guy is way better looking, and a ton smarter.
And, he’s got enough hair for an entire rock band from the 70’s… lucky bastard…
Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah…
He ain’t a nuclear physicist, or a rocket scientist, or even a high tech fabricating genius…
Evidently, he’s a writer… you know, the kind that tells stories.
Now, I’m still scratching my head, because I’m thinking, after reading his take on how you’d go about building the perfect BOV, that he should be running General Motors…
Okay, okay… I’ll get to the point;
Somebody asked, on a list I “cruise…”
“Please describe in detail what your Ultimate Bug Out Vehicle would be. Describe if you know what engine and transmission, ect ect. Would you armor it or would you buy an armored vehicle.”
Now, a bunch of us just threw up lil “implications and innuendoes…”
But not THIS guy, Jerry.
He decided to make us all look like stupid, incompetent morons, and then… he handed us our @$$e$.
And here’s how he did it:
“This is not a minimum list. It’s more a pick and choose list of what I consider desirable options for a PAW BOV. One where about the only fuel will be biodiesel and alcohol, only salvage parts can be found, and there will be no tow-trucks to come get you. Suitable for off-road and badly deteriorated roads that probably won’t get better. Options to get you through places not otherwise traversable.
1-ton Chevy pickup truck 167” wheel base frame
reinforced/gussetted frame
skid plates
rock sliders
roll cage
extended/extra fuel tank(s) w/safety linings
all wiring in chassis grounded metal conduit
5.9L 12v Cummins Diesel engine
Allison 6-speed automatic transmission
Borg Warner transfer case w/locker
PortalTek G3 1½ ton portal front & rear steering axles w/lockers
Stazworks 4-wheel hydraulic steering system
HD suspension/steering components (4” lift)
HD/Oversize 4-wheel high capacity disk brakes with booster
35” bead lock run-flat tires
custom twin cyclone engine air pre-filter
engine air intake snorkel
K&M engine air filter
exhaust gas snorkel
set of vent snorkels
Evans NPG+ waterless coolant
HD/oversize radiator w/twin electric fans
HD engine oil cooler
HD transmission cooler
HD hydraulic oil cooler
special mounts for extra gen, air compressor, on-board welder
2 – GM 12v generators (instead of single alternator)
Dual HD starting batteries
HD deep cycle battery
battery isolator
110v/220v inverter
air compressor w/tank
hydraulic pump w/tank
On Board Welder
Power steering pump
A/C compressor
Stretched ¾ ton Suburban body or 1-ton crew cab & long box
custom cockpit w/dual captain’s chairs
custom dash w/duplicate mechanical/electronic systems
custom floor console w/all wheel steering control
custom roof console
custom passenger/navigator station w/faraday cage protected laptop computer
custom HD dual arm windshield wipers w/air brush function (for volcanic ash)
custom rear Dutch doors (on Suburban)
American Safe Rooms vehicle air filter system w/custom cyclone HVAC pre-filter
heavy duty front bumper w/2″ hitch receiver
tow bar
brush guard
roller fairlead winch mount
12,000# hydraulic winch w/tensioner and stowing protector
bumper tool box (tree protectors, cable damper, 100′ 3/8″ extension cable, clevis’, shackles,
snatch blocks, tie-offs, etc)
spare tire mount
tool mounts (short handle round point shovel, pick/mattock)
fog lights
high intensity driving lights
air, 12vDC, 110v/240v AC, hydraulic, welding lead outlets
tie down/tow hooks/rings
approach/brush/sapling roller
heavy duty rear bumper w/2″ hitch receiver
roller fairlead winch mount
12,000# hydraulic winch w/tensioner and stowing protector
bumper tool box (tow strap, cable damper, 100′ 3/8″ extension cable, clevis’, shackles, snatch
blocks, tie-offs, etc)
Pull-Pal winch anchor
stake down type winch anchor w/stakes
high intensity backup lights
swing away spare tire/tool/jerry can mounts (16# double jack, axe, 2 – jerry cans diesel, 1 jerry
can gasoline, 1 jerry can water)
air, 12vDC, 110v/240v AC, hydraulic, welding lead outlets
tie down/tow hooks/rings
approach/brush/sapling roller
roof rack (Suburban)/cab-over pipe rack (pickup)
roof rack ladder(s)
remote control spot/flood light
high intensity spot & flood lights (front/rear/alley)
solar battery charger panel
PA speakers
elastic cargo net
strap cargo net
custom lay over antenna mounts
spare tire mounts
tool mounts (Hi-Lift Jack, telescoping ladder, articulating ladder, long handle round point shovel, wall climbing/recovery pole, railroad bar, Stanley Demolition bar, cribbing timbers, traction pads, thermal lances, set bridging ramps w/deployment & recovery gear)
Mechanics tool box w/extensive hand tool kit
Parts box w/extensive set of spare parts
Set of hydraulic powered tools
Set of air powered tools
6 ton chain fall
1 1/2 ton chain fall
2 ton cable come-along
2 5-ton bottle jacks
Porta-power hydraulic system
chainsaw
chainsaw support kit
oxy/acetylene torch kit (vented case in cargo compartment if Suburban)
self contained 2,000,000 watt spot light
set of wheel chocks
Pre-packed cargo containers for pickup bed
Pre-packed cargo containers for Suburban
Pre-packed cargo containers for roof rack
Pre-packed cargo container for receiver hitch
Pre-packed companion trailer (same year pickup bed trailer w/cover and/or rack)
Pre-packed custom tandem wheel trailer
Barge trailer with outboard motors
Primary Communications kit:
AM/FM/Satellite/CD/DVD/TV Video system
NWS EAS SAME receiver
FRS/GMRS short range radio (6)
Bearcat BCD396XT PS Band scanner w/Hustler MRM mobile scanner antenna
Cobra 148GTL AM/SSB CB mobile w/Wilson 5000 Roof B mobile CB antenna
Yaesu FT-8900R 10m – 70cm VHF/UHF amateur, mobile w/Diamond 8900A 10m – 70cm mobile
antenna w/mount & coax
Yaesu VX-8R 6m-70cm VHF/UHF amateur radio, handheld (4)
Yaesu FT-897D HF transceiver, portable w/KJ&U KW 6 – 160 screwdriver mobile HF antenna &
Yaesu ATAS 120 w/mount, triplexer & coax
Some optional radios
Motorola CDM 1550 low band HF business band radio w/Wilson 5000 Roof B mobile w/Wilson
5000 CB antenna cut to BB frequency
Motorola HT-1250 low band business band radio, handheld (4)
Motorola CM 300 VHF 32 channel 45 watt business band radio w/gain antenna
Motorola CP 200 VHF 4 channel 5 watt handheld (4)
Motorola CM 300 UHF 32 channel 45 watt business band radio w/gain antenna
Motorola CP 200 UHF 4 channel 4 watt handheld (4)
Furuno FS1503EM SSB marine Band HF/SSB mobile radio w/KJ7U KW 6-160 screwdriver antenna
adjusted for marine band
Furuno FM3000 marine band VHF mobile antenna w/Wilson 2m mag mount (cut to Marine band)
Standard-Horizon HX471S handheld VHF marine band handheld radio
ICOM IC-A200 mobile airband radio w/mount & antenna
ICOM A24 airband handheld radio
Some additional ideas:
all conventional vehicle lighting on hidden auto/off/on switch/relay panel
high output disruptive sound & strobe light system
gag-gas dispenser system
Railroad track guide rollers
Rammer/pusher bars on bumpers
Hanging chain tire armor/deflection system
Central tire inflation system
Service body w/basket lift/material handling arm
Some over the top possibilities:
Infra-red driving lights w/night vision goggles
6×6 conversion
Radiator armor with air flow deflector panels
Body armor w/gun ports
Window armor w/gun ports
Engine compartment/radiator armor
Oil slick, smoke, riot control gas, & caltrop dispensers
Electrical shock exterior wiring system & generator
Razor edge body edge trim
External fire suppression system
Anti-grenade/Molotov cocktail/RPG chain link fencing stand-off system
__________________
Jerry D Young”
Can you freakin believe this guy?
I mean… the nerve of him! This is a list where everybody carries automatic weapons, and eats dead, burnt, puppies for breakfast. This is a list where the miscreants shoot first and don’t even BOTHER to ask questions. This is a list where you don’t wanna GO to any “club meetings…” for fear you’ll leave on your back, stuffed into a bag…
And, he made us all look like idiots. Man… I wish I could do that!
You can read some of this guy’s stuff, here:
And a place to discuss the stories is here
Several of his stories, but by no means all, have various BOVs described.
The last one also has a link to purchase his two published works, “Mr. Man”, and “Shipwrecked!” a romance and an adventure story.
But I wouldn’t go there… Nuh-uh! If he writes… like he kills us on the lists, you’ll never be happy with a book again, unless HE wrote it… the bastard!
I gotta go now, My MOG Chassis has probably cooled off enough to start reworking it…
What? I ain’t gonna drive it. I’m turning it into a BBQ pit…
Yeah, that’s it… a BBQ pit…
More later… or not. It depends on whether or not someone from “that list” tries to kill me…






We’re going to pay some attention to this. We need a solution that will allow: 




Get your Obamabombs, while’s they’re hot!
Wait! I get it NOW! If we sell all of our weapons output overseas, there won’t be anything left HERE, for us to “protect ourselves” with! Ah, now it’s getting clearer! 





Lately, I don’t give a crap.
I can’t watch Cable TV without “Political Stuff” making me crazy…
I know that the last few posts made you think that this blog is all about whacking “Political Pinata’s” with a stick, but I swear to you, it’s not.
I mean, we’re REALLY not “politicians.” In fact, we don’t like ‘em. Not one bit.
We’re just average people, trying to take care of our families, the best way we know how.
We’re all about “doing it yourself.”
We’re all about “doing the right thing, just because it’s the right thing to do.”
We’re all about living off-grid and being self-sufficient.
After all, we’re building far flung Bubba Boxes to “Bug Out” to!
We’re recycling garbage to use as building materials!
We’re re-using anything we can find, to keep the costs down. (After all, it’s about living comfortably, but responsibly, and the rest of you buggers can just “get bent!).
We heat our water using the sun.
We power our homes with photovoltaic panels, and even hot air!
And, there’s no shortage of hot air around here!
Why? Well, because I’m the resident “guru” of… um…er… never mind!
We reload our own ammo.
We even make our own weapons.
Sometimes. Just ask “Three-Fingered Petey”!
Anyway, I can’t afford a vacation, so…
I’ll find some other way to entertain myself, and possibly even YOU. So… from the “Now I’ve seen EVERYTHING” files:
(I was out looking for cool stuff to dazzle you with.)
Okay… I know, I know… my “sparkling wit” and my endless parading of my vast intellect keeps you entertained for about um… er… three seconds… but…
And speaking of, um… “Butts”;
If you are what you poop… Well then…
Man, you’d think that they would have thought about using a different color. Holy Freakin’ Yuck! I hope the seat’s made of plastic! Ewww!
There’s a rule in inventing stuff that “form should follow function.” And, it seems that Virginia Gardiner is a follower of that rule. She’s devised an energy generating toilet that is actually made from poop.
Now, I know what you’re thinking! Ewwwwww! (I know, I know… I’m thinkin it too!)
Virgina has developed a pooper that transforms human waste into a highly valued commodity… energy.
(Hey, I coulda called it something else. In fact… Nah, never mind.)
That’s right, this toilet creates energy.
No, you nitwit… I’m not talking about “methane…” Keep it to yourself, smarty-pants! This is a “family show…”
DO NOT LOOK AT THE FOLLOWING DIAGRAM!
Like you don’t poop, too? Ah, stop complaining! I told you not to look! What a bunch of whiners!
Anyway… Virginia calls it a “LooWatt.” And she says that it’s a low cost, mechanical commode that has a green streak running thru it.
(Note from Editors wife: “Okay, enough talking about “streaks,” this is getting gross…”)
Where was I? Oh yeah…
Users of the LooWatt are urged to trade in their um… er… “recyclables” for biofuel. She says that this trade will enhance and sponsor community (urban) infrastructures that will encourage proper waste disposal, minimize water-borne illnesses, and provide a regular source of energy.
(But only if you eat your fiber regularly, huh?)
See? Made you look TWICE! Ha! Just wanted to prove that I didn’t make it up!
Where did a “crappy” idea like this come from? Well, some would claim that Virginia has um… er…(say it with me…) poop on the brain. But… she’s just looking for a solution to that 40% of the population that lives without toilets. That’s right, she’s trying to help people in Mississippi. And Alabama. Oh, and quite possibly the Ozarks! Wait… that’s not it…
According to Dwell Magazine (a mag I heartily endorse); “Virginia sought to provide a solution for the 40% of the world’s population that lives without toilets.” It’s a toilet targeted at the third world, folks. In many developing countries the installation of sewage systems is just about impossible, and we all know that improper waste disposal spreads devastating waterborne illnesses that afflict millions.
Hell, around were, we can’t go into the Gulf after it rains because all the sewers back up and then outflow into the water. But, some of the three-eyed fish are really cool lookin! And tasty!
What in the world was she thinking? Well… It seems that this toilet is designed to solve the global sanitation crisis by creating a new infrastructure.
Finally, I’ll have proof that I’m the “King of Crap!”
The “LooWatt” composting toilet is molded from 90% horse dung.
Yep, horse poop. I’m thinking probably those Budweiser Clydesdales, or their Belgian cousins. Why? Because if this toilet is gonna solve 40% of the world’s poop problem, by making toilets outta horsecrap… you’re gonna need some BIGGGG-ASSED horses to start with. I’m starting to think that this is one a those “corn ethanol” schemes.
“Look, I don’t care if you’re starving… If we don’t feed the horses, you can’t crap. Period. Just deal with it!”
“But… if I don’t eat, I can’t crap anyway! Whaaa?”
The toilet has a built-in biodegradable lining that stores excrement in a sealed, odor-free container. Once the toilet is full, the user takes the poo package to an outdoor biodigestor, which in exchange provides a free source of biofuel for cooking.
Whaaaaat? Okay, now that’s just gross. I gotta starve so a horse can eat enough to mold a pooper outta it’s poop. Then… I have to collect MY poop, and then carry it off to the marketplace, so I can barter it off for “predigested” biofuel, to cook with? Nuh-uh! I’d rather poop in a hole!
According to experts, the LooWatt has been exhibited around the world, was awarded an honorable mention from the AIGA Aspen Design Challenge, and was a finalist in the Buckminster Fuller Challenge.
Me thinks they were pushing this “exhibit” stuff a bit too far. There are just some things I DON’T want to see!
Okay… so that’s why my “Bubba Box Corten Castle” design didn’t win. It wasn’t worth um… er… “poop.”
If you think this “haul your poop outta the toilet and take it downtown…” is a good idea, well… you’re probably nuts. But, in a way (okay, you REALLY have to look for it) it makes some sense. Not MY kinda sense, but I’m not exactly the smartest person on the planet. After all, I do live in Mississippi, and I did have another kid, at 50. See? Not too bright!
The people at LooWatt would like you to know that if you’d like to help push the project along, a small donation will net you your very own “poo gem” – a dodecahedron molded from horse manure (makes a swell paperweight, gift or toy!).
Yeah that’s just what I need sitting on the mantle…
“Hey! What’s this thing?”
“Well, it’s a… um…er… you really don’t wanna know. But I put it up here because my kid kept trying to put it in his mouth!”
Hey, pony up a bit more cash, and it’ll net you a lovely deer-head candle holder – just the thing to brighten those dungy, dingy, interior spaces.
Ah man… I’m holding out for one of those “singing fish,” made outta poo-poo. At least they sound like they’re made outta crap!
But, I’ve gotta draw this post to a close. You go off and think about what we’ve learned here… whatever that was!
Me? I’m gonna go eat some more broccoli. I’ve got some tradin to do…
“What? MY poop is worth way more than YOUR poop. Aren’t you paying attention? I’m the KING OF CRAP! I’m gonna need three bags of biofuel if you wanna trade!”
And I thought that “Carbon Trading” was crazy…
PS. I was just kidding… about “Alabama.” Kinda. As for the rest of the stuff… You were thinking it too! Admit it! I’m not the only one who thinks like this! Or am I? Uh-oh… And remember, we accept donations. But NOT poop! I mean, I wouldn’t want you to get in trouble with the Post Office…
October 8, 2009
Categories: Bubba Effect, Civil Disobedience, Commentary, Disaster Recovery, Environment, Green Living, Opinion, Rebellion, Recovery, Survival, The Bubba Effect, Uncategorized . Tags: Bubba Effect, Civil Disobedience, Disaster Recovery, Environment, Injustice, Opinion, Politics, Rebellion, Recovery, Survival . Author: itsmrlexx2you . Comments: Leave a Comment